问：你好，老巴，我是特丽萨，
Hi Bashar, this is Teresa,
你能谈谈找替罪羊吗？为什么寻找替罪羊会发生在家庭内部？
Can you talk about scapegoating, why does scapegoating happen within the family?
如果一个人一辈子都是替罪羊，
And what should a person do, if they’ve been scapegoated their whole lives.
该怎么办才不会被社会边缘化？
not to be socially marginalized?
我从小就是家里的替罪羊，
I grew up the scapegoat within my family,
即使在我老了的时候，我仍然感觉很难与他人建立关系，
And I still have great difficulty feeling connected to other people, even in my old age,
谢谢你的回答！
Thank you for all that you’ve done for me!
巴夏：替罪羊是一种力量的象征，你选择足够强大，在某种意义上承担了别人的恐惧和缺乏责任，Well, it is a badge of strength that you chose to be strong enough to in a sense take on the fears and lack of responsibility that other people have,
虽然他们不愿意面对自己的问题，只是选择某个人来把问题全部强加给那个人身上，投射到那个人身上，
when they are not willing to look at their own issues and simply choose someone to foist them all and project them all upon,
所以你愿意为他们做这些是你力量的象征。
So it’s a badge of strength that you were willing to do this for them.
但你必须反射，如果你想对自己诚实的话，与其继续当替罪羊，
But you must reflect, if you are to be true to yourself the idea that rather than continuing as a scapegoat,
对你来说，虽然他们不一定要接受，但你可以反馈信息给他们，让他们有机会面对自己的恐惧，而不是把它们强加给你，
It’s possible for you, though they don’t have to accept it that you can return information to them that allows them the opportunity to face their own fears and not foist them off on you,
让他们为自己的负面和基于恐惧的信念系统负责，这些是他们不愿意去面对的，
to allow them to take responsibility for their own negative and fear-based belief systems that they are simply unwilling to face,
这就是人们找替罪羊的原因，
Which is why people create scapegoats,
因为他们害怕责任，
Because they fear the responsibility,
因为他们把它定义为责备，
Because they Define it as blame,
他们缺乏自我价值等等。
And they are coming from a place of less than worthiness and so on and so forth.
但你已经决定足够强大到去扮演一个“替罪羊”的角色，让他们在某种意义上利用你作为一种借口，不用去面对自己，
But you have decided to be strong enough to play the part that allows them to use you in a sense as an excuse to not face themselves,
但你不必继续这样做，
But you don’t have to continue to do so,
如果你能做出适当的回应，让他们意识到：如果他们真的想要在生活中有所拓展，他们就需要在自己的问题中审视自己，
If you can respond appropriately that puts them in touch with the idea that they need to look at themselves in their own issues, if they really wish to expand in life,
但这意味着你可以继续生活，而不会觉得自己是替罪羊，也不会经历成为替罪羊的后果，
But that means you can go on without feeling like a scapegoat or experiencing the effects of being one,
如果你负起责任向他们反射回他们投射给你的他们自己的恐惧。
If you take the responsibility to reflect to them what it is they are actually reflecting to you about their own fears.