So one more question, I want to ask about a relationship.I have a tendency to go through…I choose to go through many times.Tendencies mean: “I can’t help it.”No responsibility there, no way to change anythingNow if you’re choosing something you don’t prefer then you have something to work with现在，如果你（知道）你选择了某些你不喜好的事物，那你就有工作要做了Because the first question would be, what would have to believe is true in order to keep choosing something I don’t prefer因为你面对的第一个问题是：我到底相信什么是真实的（什么做法是正确的），才会让我不断的选择我所不喜好的事物Well, if you say I have a tendencyThat gives you nothing to work with no insight into yourself at all那这不会带给你任何你需要做的事情，也根本不会带给你任何内在的洞察力It’s about taking ownershipSo what is the thing that you choose?So the thing that I choose is thatGoing almost back to the coffee questionI ramp up my energy to such a degree, that this counterpart to the relationship comes in我提高我的能量，达到某种程度，于是，这种能量所对应的亲密关系，就会到来We’re selective deaf to concept that don’t work for us对于那些于我们不适用的观念，我们是选择性地“耳聋”I choose this relationship to drag me downDo you have a good answer?You’re just not paying attention to itRemember what we talked about when we talk about the motivational mechanism within all of you?记得我们在讨论你们每个人内在的信念系统的激励机制时，我们所说的内容吗？This is an absolute givenYou all always, and I mean there are no exceptions, always move in the direction, choose in the direction of what you believe is in your best interest.你们，每个人，总是，我是说“毫无例外”，你们总是选择“你相信对你来说是最佳利益的方向”，并朝这个方向前进You always move away from what you believe is not in your best interest.你们总是会远离“你相信对你来说不是最佳利益的方向”Therefore, if you know that and you know that’s how the mechanism works.因此，如果你知道这一点的话，并且你知道这个机制是如何运作的if you then are choosing something that you know is not in your best interest.那么，如果你还是选择了某些你知道对你不是最佳利益的事物The only way you would do so is you have a definition of the thing that makes it seem to be in your best interest more than the other choice.那你会这么做的唯一原因是：你对这个东西的某个定义，让你觉得：它比其他选项，对你来说，更有利益！You need to find the belief that says that that thing you don’t prefer is a better choice than the thing that would actually serve you better那个在你耳边说：（CC信念）“那个AA虽然让你更受益，但那个你不喜好的BB，却是更好的选择”Find that belief and let it go and then the motivational mechanism will flip around the other way找到CC信念，并释放它，然后，信念系统的激励机制就会“反其道而行”And you will only choose the things that are actually to your benefit instead of attaching beliefs to the things that are not to your benefit that make it seem to be to your benefit你也将只会选择那个真正让你受益的AA事物，而不是在对你无益的事物上粘附负面信念，使之看似对你有益So in saying that you are choosing to do something in a relationship where you feel dragged down那么，说回你在情感关系中，会选择做些拉低你振频的事情What beliefs do you have about yourself that you would attract that experience.关于你自己，你有什么样的信念，才会让你吸引来这样的经历呢？That I don’t deserve to be the energy level that brings the experience inThat you might believe thatWhat do you get out of believing that that you don’t deserve that?如果你相信你不配拥有这样的能量，那你会从中得到什么呢？I get the approval of the people who are my parents and the people who think I’m different我能够获得父母的认可，以及那些认为我“不一样”的人的认可You’re willing to go for approval instead of actually honoring yourself and thus honoring them by being yourself ?你宁可要别人的认可你，也不想要尊重自己，也不想通过“做自己”来尊重他们You’re settling for something that isn’t youBecause you think that that’s the right thing to doBecause you are looking for their approval to determine who you are因为你通过寻求他们的认可，来确定“你是谁”（身份）This is why it’s so important to identify beliefsBecause, you see what I said earlierOnce you actually bring it out into the light and make a statement out of it consciously因为，一旦你把你的信念带到光明之中，并且有意识地对它做个声明Doesn’t make much sense, does it?As soon as it’s nonsensical, it’s goneUnless you have another belief that says you need to hold onto itAnd then you need to find that one too and let that become nonsensicalBecause all the things that are out of alignment with your true vibration don’t make sense因为所有跟你真正振频不相匹配的信念（事物），都是没道理的
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